The Strait and Narrow

 Jesus states in Matthew 5:31-32: “It Hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: but I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.” Matthew 5:31-32 and Matthew 19:9 give us what is called the “exception clause”–”saving for the cause of fornication.” In Matthew 19:9 Jesus says: “And I say unto you, whosowever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whose marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.” This is the verse that many people try to use to condone what is referred to as “the innocent party” divorce and remarriage. However, this is not the “exception clause” that many would like it to be. This “exception” is only written in the book of Matthew. There is a very good and important reason for this. You see, the book of Matthew was written by a Jew to Jews about a Jew and the Jewish custom was different from some other customs. When Mark writes about this same situation he does not mention this so-called “exception clause.” So from Matthews view one has to take this exception and apply it to the Jews and their customs. First of all, we must understand that there is a difference between “adultery” and “fornication.” “Adultery” is sexual relations between two married people (other than husband and wife). “Fornication” is sexual relations between two unmarried people. If a married man has relations with an unmarried woman then the man has committed “adultery,” but the woman has committed “fornication.” Now, notice what Jesus says in Matthew: “And I say unto you, whosoever shall put away his WIFE, except it be for FORNICATION …” If “fornication” is relations between unmarried people then why does Matthew mention “wife” and “fornication” together? Simply because the Jewish people had a wedding custom. The wedding actually had a two part ceremony. When a boyfriend and girlfriend decided that they were for each other, the first stage of the “wedding” (or the engagement) was held. Everyone knew that from this time on, this boy and girl were meant for each other, but they were to still remain pure until they had gone through the second stage of the wedding. If, during this “engagement time, either one found out that the other one had been unfaithful (committed fornication), a “bill of divorcement” was allowed to be written. Joseph and Mary is a good example, (Matt.1:18-19) “Mary was espoused (betrothed, engaged) to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost” To Joseph at this time she where a fornicator not an adulteress for they were not yet married by the final ceremony. “ Joseph being a just man and not willing to make her a publick example was minded to put her away privily.”  This is the exception Jesus spoke of: Jewish_views_of_marriage

Strait and Narrow a route or channel, so narrow as to make passage difficult, I think of the strait of Gibraltar the most known by name, but consider the strait of Magellan.  Positioned along the southern edges of the South American continent, this once-vital passageway is named for the Portuguese adventurer, Ferdinand Magellan, the first explorer to circumnavigate the globe. His chosen route around the continent in 1520 though dangerous at times, proved to be the fastest and safest connection between the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans for sea-going commerce and exploration.  If one was to navigate to the southern most part of South American were it would be wider to navigate, the ice would make it most dangerous and time consuming. Magellan strait is narrow and difficult to navigate, but the end result is the greater gain. So is our walk in life as a Christian it may seem restricted, but we must also understand what seems to be our restrictions on earth will be our gains in heaven. The end result is life everlasting.  

“But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace” (1 Cor.7:15 kjv). Apostle Paul responds to a number of questions that had been submitted to him by various members of the church at Corinth (cf. 1 Cor.7:1). Some of these queries had to do with the relationship of a believer who is married to an unbeliever. The “under bondage” has been viewed as freedom to remarry for many, One has to realize that Paul is speaking not about the marriage bond as in Romans, but about the condition of the Christian concerning his/her relationship with God. Bondage(15) is the Greek term douloo, which means “to make a slave of.”  Enslavement, does not refer to the marriage union. If the unbeliever departs. The brother or sister is not enslaved to maintain togetherness. In no way Paul is giving the authority for remarriage and is not implicitly nor explicitly stated. The “let him depart” has been understood as desertion, but if you let your spouse leave it’s not by law considered desertion. The word “depart” is used by Paul in verses 10, and 11 that if the wife depart (leave, separate) for her to remain unmarried and for the husband to not divorce her. So you see the difference between “depart” and “to put away”. These don’t imply a desertion. In verse 15 has used the same depart (to separate).  Paul in verse 12 said, “But to the rest speak I, not the lord” he is saying this because in the verses before he spoke of the commandments of the lord and didn’t want the people to think that what he spoke in these verses were the Lord’s commandments. That’s maybe why he spoke about a relationship between a believer and a nonbeliever the believer may have been trying to fulfill the commandments. In verses 14  “is sanctified” is about a husband and wife who both were unbelievers and one has believed. By virtue of becoming a believer one declared faith and pledge to abstain from fornication now they find themselves with a spouse that continues to engage in fornication or sin. Therefore, the choice is between disrupting the marriage or living with a fornicating martial partner. If he/she will stay let he/she stay, but if he/she will not stay then let he/she leave.  Paul ended this by saying “For what knowest thou, O wife whether thou shalt save thy husband? Or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?” In no way is Paul giving another exception for divorce and remarriage. For the married believers the commandment is if one departs, they should remain unmarried or reconciled and they should not divorce “and let not the husband put away his wife.” So you see the command to remain unmarried. It doesn’t give the freedom to remarry for desertion or divorce.  Paul simply answered their question for the need to separate between believers and nonbelievers. Note that Paul do not use the phrase “to put away” which mean to divorce, he used the phrase in vesre 11,12, but not in the vesre 15. He used the expression “depart” which should be understood to leave or seperate not to desert for the scripture states ” let him depart” which shows consent on the part of the believer and if the unbeliever departed it was only because of the faith of the believer not for any other reason.

In the Old Testament a vow is seen as a covenant between two in agreement.

God’s covenant with Abram told him of the land of inherits; Abram asked God “whereby shall I know that I shall inherit it?” By a blood covenant (Gen.15:17) Abram covenant with God of circumcision (Gen.17) Circumcision is Abram’s part of the agreement. God agree to bless Abram to be “exceeding fruitful” and the land of Canaan. This covenant is an every lasting covenant. Samson also had a vow to God never to cut his hair as a Nazarene of God. Today a vow of marriage is not seen in this way. Jewish customs and some others, a man would make a contract with the father of the woman he wants to marry. The contract would be of some value to the father for his daughter maybe some amount of money. A good example is Jacobs labor of 7 years for his wife Rachael a virgin. Today vows of marriage are said before God and these witnesses of love between the two getting married. Some vows are vows to stay with the other in sickness and in health, in poverty or in wealth, till death do us part. It don’t seem like we hold any important to these vow to one another because we break these vows more than 40% of the time. In South Carolina these are the legal grounds for divorce:  A divorce may be granted only on the following grounds:  Adultery; Desertion for a period of one year; Physical cruelty; Habitual drunkenness, including habitual drunkenness caused by the use of any narcotic drug; or On the application of either party if and when the husband and wife have lived separate and apart without cohabitation for a period of one year. [Based on South Carolina Code of Laws Section 20-3-10]

Most states recognize a no fault divorce in which there is irreconcilable differences, and no one is to blame for the breakup of the marriage.  There are also fault based grounds, which vary from state to state, but generally include adultery, abuse, desertion, alcoholism or drug addition, incarceration, and insanity.  You can see how far we as men have added reasons to get a divorce from the one we vowed to stay with for life. Even the “irreconcilable differences” is a reason! Jesus gave the reason of fornication only. Maybe that is why the divorce rate is so high. You can get a divorce for any reason almost.The church that I’m apart of is giving membership to some that are in an adulterous relationship or as some say a double marriage because they have divorced for these reasons other than fornication. I guest the question is do you hold your vows true to the end? Or do you take the easy “broad way” out.

In the early church and through the reformation divorce and remarriage has been viewed in many ways.

Some divorce factors from the early church has permitted impotence, leprosy, insanity, desertion and yes even hatred (anger) as some reasons to allow a divorce.  I find myself thinking about this scripture in Matt.15:1-23

The disciples eat without washing their hands. In verse 9 speaking of the Pharisees Jesus said, “But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.” Man has changed the commandments of God to the commandments of men. In these early factors of allowance for divorce you can see that man has changed what Jesus has answered to this question about divorce ( Matt.19:1-9 )  

“Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder.”

“And I say unto you, whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.”

First, what God put together, man has no authority to take apart, marriage is everlasting it’s a spiritual and physical oneness. Second the exception Jesus speaks of is about fornication is of the law. Deut.22:13-30

Where the law is concerned about a man speaking evil against a virgin and calling her a fornicator, in verse 20 if the damsel is found to be a fornicator then she will be stoned.  This is where a man takes a wife that’s a virgin and on their wedding night finds out that she is defiled (not a virgin) then and only then can he put her away. Since the early stoning of fornicators the people of Israel allowed a divorce or to put away.

 To me this is what Jesus is referring too.  The 15^th and 16^th century church gave a board definition for this fornication where even anger or where both hated each other can divorce. This would be far from what is in scripture. Today I see the cogop moving in this same direction in their decision to receive membership by the profession of faith only. This then would allow some in double marriage to become members even if they are in scriptural adultery.    Jesus gave a warning to whosoever divorce without cause; these would be committing adultery if remarried. Even to the single people that would marry the divorced would be committing adultery.  So all of the divorce factors that the church may allow some listed above may in fact be committing the sin of adultery.  Scripture says, “For the woman which hath an husband is bound by law to her husband so long as he liveth: but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress.” (Rom.7:2-3)   You see scripture doesn’t give reasons for the woman that is married to another man, while her husband is still alive it doesn’t matter what the reason is she will be committing adultery.  Take the allowance for desertion if one partner leaves the other for no reason or any reason or now hates their spouse and decide to leave does this allow the innocent party to remarry? Is desertion fornication? This would be like the Pharisees. Then the question is marriage for life or until one is unhappy with the other? Jesus was addressing the divorce factors “for any reason, for every reason” he said only for the reason of fornication can one get a divorce by law of man not by God.  What God hath put together no man can take apart. Marriage in God’s eyes is forever.